Plans Take Shape

Pregnancy brings with it many surprises, among them the infamous "nesting instinct," which can kick in as early as the fifth month of pregnancy. The nesting instinct motivates expectant mothers to clean and organize their homes in preparation for the baby. It can be funny to watch this instinct at work -- I remember one of my friends dusting high shelves like a maniac when she was close to delivery.

For someone like me, already slightly compulsive about neatness and organization, it's difficult to tell whether I am experiencing this nesting instinct or just my usual drive to bring order to the chaos. But I've definitely been feeling wholly, irrationally unsettled about the fact that Adam and I didn't know where we would be living next year. So I'm happy to report that we finally have an answer!

We will be staying with Adam's parents for ten weeks this summer while the family for whom we're house-sitting is back in their house; but they will be returning to India, and we will be returning to their house, in August. So I won't have a nursery where I can stencil ducks onto the walls, but as people keep reminding me, the baby won't care about that. And I feel much better having everything settled, with actual moving dates. Hooray for house-sitting!

I love craigslist!

Adam and I bought a crib today!

We found it on craigslist. A single-child family in Winchester bought it several years ago at Boston Baby (now defunct) and kept it in beautiful condition. It's a sleigh crib by Pali, a higher-end baby furniture manufacturer that we would never have considered at retail prices. Solid hardwood with a lovely cherry finish. The best part? The crib, plus a good crib mattress by Colgate, cost us less than half of what they would have cost new!

Double Trouble

I threw my first baby shower last Sunday, for my good friend Lauren, who is exactly 10 weeks further along in her pregnancy than I. I did a bunny theme, with bunny ears, bunny prizes and carrot cake. We played silly baby shower games, like "Celebrity Baby Names" and "Nursery Rhyme-Down", and we ooh-ed and ahh-ed over the cute baby gifts.

It was lots of fun, although there's a part of me that can't quite believe we've reached a place where maternity leave policies, life insurance and the relative benefits of cloth versus disposable diapers are normal topics of conversation.

Baby Bump

Conventional wisdom holds that you should never assume a woman is pregnant based on her body shape. After all, if you comment on a non-existent pregnancy, you could really insult someone. But over the past few weeks, strangers have started asking about my baby. And since it's so obvious, I thought I would post a photo of the bump for all of you who don't see me regularly!

"Very Superstitious"

Now that I'm in my 22nd week of pregnancy, I've been thinking a lot about superstitions. In the Jewish community, superstitions about pregnancy and babies abound. Most couples keep the news that they're expecting private until at least the end of the first trimester. When they do finally go public, the traditional response is the Hebrew phrase "B'Shaah Tovah," which means "in good time." You're not supposed to say congratulations or mazel tov over a pregnancy -- it's tempting fate.

Lots of people also avoid buying things for the baby before he or she is born. Some couples will bend to expediency and buy a few necessities, like a car seat and some diapers, while other couples literally buy nothing, sending family and friends running to the stores after the delivery. Baby showers are generally avoided. Jews of Eastern European descent won't name the baby after a living relative, lest the angel of death become confused and take the baby when he comes for the older person. For months, my mother-in-law's favorite phrase has been "Kain ein horeh,"which is Yiddish for "No evil eye." Her mother says it, too.

It all traces back to medieval European Jewish folk traditions, most of which were frowned upon by the rabbis and scholars of mainstream Judaism, but which nevertheless survived. These traditions involved angels, demons and other spirits, and people invented ways to protect themselves from the demons and evil spirits. Remember the spitting in Fiddler on the Roof? Warding off the evil eye.

I have to say, after a few months of intense exposure to this stuff, I've come to have a bad opinion of it. It was really hard for me to keep my pregnancy a secret from most people during the first trimester -- I was going through a lot, and it was lonely keeping it to myself. And as someone who prepares for change by gathering lots of information and generally being prepared for eventualities, I really feel the need to buy baby gear before the baby comes.

Maybe the whole superstition thing has to be ingrained early in life. I don't know, but I am officially rejecting all of it. (Kain ein horeh.)

It's a Boy!

Adam and I had our "Level II Ultrasound"/"Fetal Survey" today. Below is a picture of our structurally perfect SON! Who, apparently, sucks his thumb.

Quickening

I can feel my baby moving around! It started this weekend and continued today. It took me several times feeling that popping/fluttering sensation to become convinced, but now I'm sure it's the baby. It seems to happen if I'm sitting still, and it is the most amazing feeling in the world!

Not-So-Relaxing Sleep

My pregnancy book, Sears Parenting Library's The Pregnancy Book, told me that pregnant women spend more time in REM sleep and consequently are more likely to dream and more likely to wake up and remember the dreams. I've found this to be very true. The night before last, I had an incredibly vivid dream in which Sasha and Malia Obama had been kidnapped, and I couldn't locate them, although locating them seemed to be my job.

A few days before that, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning having dreamed that I had taken my baby to services on a Shabbat morning and put him (yes, we had a boy in the dream) in a baby playground swing. Then I went inside for services, totally forgetting about the baby until several hours later, when I was ready to walk to lunch. In the dream, I panicked as I remembered the baby and rushed toward the baby swing. I could see that his little body was there in its little blue sleeper, but before I could tell if he was okay, I woke up screaming.

Did any other women out there have unusually vivid dreams while pregnant?

Happy Statistics

Adam and I got the results of or Early Prenatal Risk Assessment today. The ERA is based on a blood test and an ultrasound, and (together with the age of the mother) is used to predict the chance of having a baby with Down syndrome, Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18. The ultrasound also checks for other birth defects.

Our results put us in the low risk category, with no further testing indicated! Apparently, my odds of having a baby with one of the three chromosomal disorders are lower than a 20-year-old woman's odds. Now I will have to find something new to worry about!

Proof Positive

Although I didn't experience that "Am I really pregnant?" feeling that some of my friends had during the first trimester -- I had enough symptoms that I was sure every minute -- it was still amazing to see the baby for the first time on Monday. Here is a photo from our 12 week ultrasound:


I annotated the photo for those of you who aren't adept at reading these fuzzy black and white images.

More Information

Yes, we're having a baby! People usually want to know more than that, though, so here are the answers to a few frequently asked questions:

How far along are you?/When are you due?
I'm 13 weeks, which puts me in the second trimester. I'm due July 13.

Are you going back to work after the baby comes?
Yes, I'll be going back full-time. Brandeis guarantees 8 weeks of maternity leave, but if I can get approval, I would like to stay home with the baby through the end of Sukkot, which would be 13 weeks. I'll keep you posted on the negotiations.

Is the baby a boy or a girl?
I don't know yet! Sex is detectable by ultrasound at about 18 weeks. Adam and I will be finding out the sex, if the baby cooperates by being in the right position, and we'll be happy to share the information with all of you after the next ultrasound.

How are you feeling?
Ugh. I had a miserable first trimester, with lots of food aversions, nausea and vomiting, not to mention exhaustion. I was actually losing weight. My wonderful OB/GYN eventually put me on Zofran (Ondansetron), an anti-nausea medication, which helped a lot, and I do feel much better now. But I admit that I was surprised by all the intense physical changes that come with pregnancy! Not to mention the emotional ones. (Did you see the Pampers Peace on Earth commercial? I was absolutely sobbing.)

Can I tell people?
It's on the Internet, so it's public! Most of our friends and family know by now, I think. I told my boss this past week, and I'll tell the rest of my coworkers on Monday. Kudos, by the way, to our parents and grandparents for keeping the secret for 8 weeks!