Israel Has Made Me Mean

After yet another terrible Al Italia customer experience (why do I fly with them again?) I found myself getting incredibly mad/defensive/argumentative. As soon as the Al Italia staff started giving me problems, I immediately switched into attack mode instead of appealing to the staff members for help (not that, on their part, any help was offered). We descended into a classic Israeli battle of wills where neither side is prepared to back down from their position.

Over the last 4 years I adopted this method of Israeli conflict as a survival mechanism to wade through the thick and tedious Israeli bureaucracy. I have also seen people succeed with sweet talk, but I’m not the kind of guy who can walk around calling everybody “sweetheart.” I have noted to several friends that while my method of dealing with this bureaucratic conflict is often successful, I hate both the way that this behavior makes me feel and the fact that such tactics are successful. In this case not only was I on the losing end (for now) of the exchange, but the instinctive conflict-oriented behavior actually prevented me from addressing the problem at hand and finding a mutually satisfactory resolution.

I had several hours on the plane to reflect on potential solutions to the problem and came to a second realization. I am not a nice person. I was a nice person once. I cared about other people’s feelings and went out of my way to lend a helping hand. I’m not quite sure how, but I think Israeli culture has slowly beaten the “nice” out of me. That isn’t to say that the “hard” behavior is without any redeeming value, but I would rather be in the default state of niceness with the ability to harden myself if necessary.

I’m trying to think of a witty line to turn this all into a funny joke. But I can’t. It’s just sad.